#PERSPECTIVES EPISODE 4 | 10 Years to an Overnight Success
Discover the truth behind Sharon Pearon's 'overnight success'.
Join Sharon Pearson and Elysium Nguyen (Glam) in the long awaited discussion on how Sharon created her successful business and the journey from where it all began to now. If you are just starting out in your business, already a business owner or thinking about that pathway, this is the episode for you.
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Podcast, upcoming events, books – www.sharonpearson.com
Disruptive Leadership - https://disruptiveleading.com/
The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris - https://fourhourworkweek.com/
Flow State (Coined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi) - https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi-father-of-flow/
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Elysium “Glam” Nguyen: Beautiful.
Sharon Pearson: Thank you. Let's drink.
G: I think we're on! Hello.
G: Thank you so much for being here.
SP: My pleasure.
G: Welcome to episode three of perspectives.
SP: Yes this is wonderful. It's so wonderful.
G: We’ve been getting so many comments and that's
SP: Have we? Good.
G: Yeah the last couple of episodes right. And I was imagining what the world and more than it was in the conversation.
SP: Yes. Brilliant.
G: And we had great response so far. And one of the things that I love to get you on today and that is the conversation around there's so many people who are starting out business now and you can see the success that we created and the culture and
SP: The overnight success
SP: That is higher.
SP: It was nothing, was hanging around and ended up on the beach. On that You know, Tim Ferris never meant the four hour work week to be taken literally.
SP: Did you know that?
G: I didn’t actually yeah.
SP: He’s spoken now on a couple of podcasts made it really clear it was never it was just the kind of the title that you did it's your local dish and is beginning to talk to let everybody risen most of it I’m telling you know, Tim has never done for heaven's sake. And he doesn't have his laptop at the beach just to be clear. So this whole kill the myth now early.
SP: I’m such a motivational speaker but I can't keep, I can’t perpetuate that BS, so Tim he never has done the 4 hour work week unless on holiday.
G: No I don’t know anyone successful to do a 4 hour work week
SP: It was more a tag each, or a symbol of getting organised and delegating where you can
G: Yeah. And that's impossible.
SP: Well four hours as was a little bit so clear to that extent that he doesn't believe that he meant this is symbolic of how to think smart of your business.
SP: How did these virtual systems and how to access and stuff that it was never going to get?
SP: you know what. If you want to work for hours it’s probably not your thing.
SP: What was the last time I did four hours on 18 hours away from my elevator is every
decade? I've does have always my thing.
G: Yes. And you want to put the time in. It lights you up.
SP: Yes people say they want to make all of money for this do for hours you want to get the rest of the way.
G: Yes, that is such a good point.
SP: It's not your thing. Then what do you do? It's like sort of a visual. Most people I know they just get bored of the beach after two weeks have really had a few days.
SP: So we're two weeks five. We've done a lot of lifestyle. We've done eight hours work. Competitors have done that in a day.
SP: I'm sorry. No the world isn't wired that way and the world was one that way of a very unfair world because it I believe because you'd be basically saying no matter the effort it's not your results you're smart. If it was a big teams combined by again
G: And it has to be both put together anything especially at the beginning when you're when you start when you bring it to Rush you're getting things going. It's a different. I think one of the concepts that people mistake is they see the success that they have now for example and some people can sometimes misunderstand the journey that earns that success. You earn your days you can sit and write the book that you love and your days when you have you know you can put aside we can sit down have a cup of tea and do a podcast together. And at the beginning it's going to be everything we love over time.
SP: It's still not everything I love all the time, and that is such a great point to see. We have to be in love with this thing about Flow that’s huge. And I can’t say the name of the person that invented it, Joe?
Joe Pane: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
SP: Yes yes. He's been studying Flow for decades and it's about having lost to the amount of challenge and the amount of enjoyment. We have enough enjoyment that you engage and you disappear in it. And a lot of commentators now say the idea is to be having flow experiences in your business. Stop again. Oh gosh I'm so motivational it can't all be flow. It is in the beginning. It's not all exciting because it's just hard and it can't be that right amount of challenge was not too boring about you because it's all hard. All of it is hard. Turning up to my first client session was hard. There was no flow. Flow is something we earn and the studies that he. This guy did. Whose name. That's it for this podcast. The studies show that they studied mainly elite athletes and artists and musicians and students completely engrossed in what they were doing. And now they've just they started moving recently studying workplace. But to get to a floor is that the first day in your job there's no floor on the first day. Yes that is earned. Even the people who love flooring. I'm in floor and I know you're in floor all the time man. We've had this completely and so it's all going to be flow. Oh come on. Yes. Suck it up princess. Do the yards do what it actually takes? Yeah. So you earned the right to have floor because you retreat you've achieved the late
G: Completely. And. So many many days as you get to that it's still not flow all the time. You know it is it's not. And those days have to be has with anything as far a reason why you you find this thing that you love. Yeah you find thing that you wanted for your audience is the time. Is it worth it? Yes. Flow is worth it yes.
SP: Yeah. Yes. And maybe they do turn into flow like sales is something was not flow for me. It was incredibly uncomfortable space to be in and I didn't engage with it in a healthy way and I brought a lot of my personal issues around that and whatever. I made it a very noisy dramatic space in my business until I got a handle on it. And now as you know sells is flow For me it's it's almost an effortlessness that doesn't make it flow. Yeah. Because I don't really find it hugely challenging but it's enough that I've got to be mindful of the pieces. Yeah but it wasn't like that in the beginning, I mean I avoided sells I win probably I don't know how true this is but a lot of my attraction to being a writer prior to going to business was the appeal of not going out and having to have that feeling of selling myself or selling a product not realizing of course all book sales come from sales I didn't make that connection. I was very naive. So there was 10 years of hiding that way and not really being full on upfront with what this narrative involves and how to engage in a healthy way. So flow to me has been decades long getting to in some areas. And so anybody is coming to business you know if we're going to look at my startup I can't remember a flow moment. In the beginning at the unit there was it was uncomfortable and stretched me and I was very uncertain and very insecure and very concerned that I was doing the wrong thing by the client. I was overly anxious about being prepared for sessions.
G: So tell me a bit more about that period in terms of starting and I'm discovering some of those personal challenges I mean you created multimillion many multimillion dollar businesses now. So how did that how did you get to that first period and that beginning where you're learning things that you are comfortable with of the things that you were avoiding and hiding away from before? How did you make that leap from?
SP: Well I didn't feel like a leap but that was what I got. It was very noisy dramatic space that there there's six months I remember it was well I became a coach with no intention of doing my first or my second or so on. I became a coach to because I need to give my shit sorted. So becoming a coach was a pathway to make change your pathway one way. So I saw I thought I'm sure to find some peace within me because I was so naturally anxious I just I learned later about attachments and the tension installs a whole lot of the things right about developmental fragility the developmental issues that it may just I know that I see one way to this gender and society and way too easily leaning towards depression way too easily having I just get so easy to struggle with my identity that way too easy. I just very naturally went to the dark side whereas I knew there was a lot of optimism in me that I just didn't not have to tap into. So encouraging to me I could get a nurturing kind of courage to help me and hopefully help resolve that. But if I became a coach. I would have access to those tools and it would be with me and it is true Well yes.
SP: Just amazing. So I'm always grateful for the decision. So it was very much the first six months was a lot of tears a lot of tantrums 90 hours that kind of day making too much of a big deal. You know now I try my students and programs around what I did that worked. I've left out all the hours angst and self-doubt and sweaty palms. And nothing I can do it. I can still remember were the first so then twenty five thousand dollars in my first year and invested all of that as your job. is the real secretary maybe it's because I realized this had potential if this had legs. If I could get some guy
SP: I could see only blue sky I could see maybe not a million but I do remember Steve my husband seeing through it we did some easy massive breakfast and we had about a three hundred fifty thousand dollars was relatively it seemed quite easy if I could get game.
SP: So the the constant was you could always do well in business. The variable was how much gaining coverage should it be. And I think this drew a lot of industries.
SP: That the constant is the industry. It's doing really well.
SP: With or without it you.
SP: Well the variable is showing up in it. I think you have a slipstream or was going to be a ripple and it's partly what you saw.
So not sucking became my primary objective of my business as human being. Don't stop motivational. It's not inspirational but it is what it is. It was just how little can I. How much of the soft time reduced I was going to grow? The thought of me rocking was very early days and it's still there wasn't an actual conversation I had with myself. I was out of focus around that in any that first year and then for six months predominantly it was I don't I can't trust or believe in me. The first six months was really about how much pain. Can I tolerate as I face my next demon? So every single thing I did was facing a demon everything. My first client session I was dry retching and sweaty palms dry but just the fear that I was going to be judged and found out and found to be the fraud I felt I was. I was dealing with massive anxiety and huge insecurity and very little luster and very little truth to I Rock. So I didn't have a lot to do with it you to make it an easy journey for me or transitioning to simple or business. So what I decided that for six months whatever going to do is I'm under way that I believe in myself. I'm just going to find what works. Nobody's going to believe in that because I have to for my own sanity stop believing I have to be awesome to do this.
SP: that doing it well. Can't rely on the variable me because there are plenty who just don't really well.
SP: So I removed the variable and I just became a voice for what I was learning so I study coaching, NLP your whole world of immersion. And I just took the strategy looked at the strategy and it's going to house our pricing. I practiced with pro bono clients.
SP: And then I would apply the strategy and I just convinced myself that it wasn't me. I was just channelling the skills.
G: Well what happened was I took shifts
SP: So it was either that or yeah I was also to stay alive and not do it because I didn't have enough of me show up with any level of conviction.
G: It's amazing.
SP: It's ridiculous. Goodness. Come on. But that is the truth.
G: Well it is such a powerful show you get a little too much.
SP: But it’s not ridiculous, I’m being harsh on myself. It is and it's where I was at. And I have to honour that.
G: Yeah, thank you so much for sharing that because I think it can be so about things and
SP: I hope so
G: Completely, I speak to so many coaches in our community who you know your first coaching session is going to be scary and that's OK for it to be done.
SP: It's so much more than that.
SP: They competed for the session. What do I do if I say concision? How did it get so into the succession? And you take it and doing business. Yes I've done it once. Now I have to replicate that.
SP: But it's all peripheral. Is that marketing the sales administration finance is the IT, building relationships? My first million dollar contract was to flight Santa and I always think highly of Casey Tormy the very first person to get me the gig. She order she ever since. And you remember seeing her praises around the globe. So it was a cold call. I was just channelling strategies that I figured would work. I was starting to show up at this point so the cold I said if you don't see as I now I'm actually getting comfortable with being comfortable. I've been good at it.
G: Yeah. It's one of the things that you now bring the course and you teach our students now. You have to have the belief in yourself, just apply the strategy.
SP: Yeah. The strategy will give you the strategies proven one and is and it's replicable. You a variable allowed to make it replicable. That's the thing you do as long as you're doing it you become a constant. That's interesting because there also was the Coaching Industries is massive industries go and going straight into recession. The variable was me with an I was going to be part of that. Yeah but I go turn into the constant. So I'm part of it so I had to turn myself into the constant. I didn't show up as a very little upset worried insecure or anxious. I just showed up with a strategy proven and that made me a constant. And that became very refined.
SP: And I could break it down into its component parts and I could start to learn why it works and how to do work with me and slowly as a result of that my inner in my head began to shift the narrative a little bit from what it was which we discussed in the previous podcast too. I can do this. I get this. That makes sense. I'm going to access this any time. And so I stopped a lot of the clutter in my head. So is a lot freer to focus on you with the amount of danger you do anything. I was a lot freer to give it to survey balance. So very quickly in that first year my view shifted from what's in it for me. How am I doing how am I going to see how I judge? To. How were they doing? And so the moment I needed you the clutter the clutter my head about me I had so much space and stayed that way ever since and only got a free hand. And as my self-consciousness jumped yet how I could notice that self-consciousness increase and also I began to realize any business is really about who's got the least self-consciousness. It's gonna be okay.
SP: And the best with my self-consciousness is going to be the least I can probably get is the client or the customer.
SP: Because they're wanting to get rid of the shame around feeling self-conscious they're going to want to get rid of feeling uncomfortable in their own skin. They're wanting to do real things always wanting to get rid of it and the consumer is always the most self-conscious person. So is my self-consciousness went down. I became present to other people self-conscious and upset. Yeah I got better reading it. I want to do with it and how to interpret it and why it matters and how did you set it towards them and to as everyone is a walking contradiction of looking good on the outside? I was really self-conscious on the inside. And if I said that to do this this is why it took off so quickly getting clear on that and I can articulate it like this but I sensed it and perceived it and tapped into it. I then became very good at making you comfortable and helping me bring out the best in unselfconscious way.
Yeah so a lot of my clients in my first two years is women want to experience sexual abuse as you know and who'd experienced rape or troll or accident troll medical trauma a little self-conscious around that obviously for them quite understandably as of time they try to love you for things that haven't worked. They're very uncomfortable with themselves. The level of anxiety around themselves and their relationship with their past they told you in different ways but the self-help movement just be positive and focus on the positive. And look on the bright side all the time will heal and a whole bunch of nonsense that is to me ultimately damaging and irresponsible and so seriously I take it. And so they're trying different solutions over the years. You have one of Glasgow's icons old. All you said about that Eastern and we're talking about it Brian. All right Eliot clients around sexual abuse and you carry this around since this team. Seventy years not finding it hard to use pain and self-consciousness and shame. So together with someone who's really comfortable with that level of personal and intimate and vulnerable conversation and have nothing around it that is about me. You met how much scarring is or how did they kind of just everything they think they've got to worry about? They don't have to worry about when others they're not. Does that make it so that no longer is a thing to them? So consciousness is gone and now it's just it's not where my mind is in that it must beautiful I mean that was beautiful and kind is compassionate where possible that level of intimacy so then I took that into teams. No. Well there is some reason I didn't take that. Yeah it's a whole other thing but with working with clients that's what happened in that in a city translate to the business growing Yeah.
G: That is such a powerful shift we can see how it completely changes the dynamic. And so it just only listening to this would be wow that’s what I’ve been doing.
G: So how did that go to go back to the story?
SP: It went really well. So I have a script for it which you know it's in the program and it worked. She was amazing. I think she helped me refine the script. She's some packaging. So I just studied the question who does you use managing and overseeing Success Coaching? Currently Australia wide. She says I want to wow. Because you know you're right. And so we should talk. Yes we should. So I've lot of tea in very show and then they tested me. They flew me to her husband and I had to know this I had to perform and give a free event in front of five of the senior learning and development executives. So I still remember very fondly but I just always one when I met her in this room and were taking me out. The opening lines for one of the ones you've been on if so how did that's good thing? Yes there's actually no pressure no opening lines as I went on stage. I mean thanks so and they endorsed me. And from there I just got a moral case and eventually it opened up. If you came in to coaches that I supplied to flights to nationwide and across some other countries which is wonderful and that's how my income began going up but that really income to me is just the measure of the way I said things I was learning I'm willing to write about you know a lot of really stuff that I just do my passion I don't have any good enough to make myself very happy. Well good for you too. It's like you want to do this for real. So since you just off camera you want to be an entrepreneurial and you take all of it.
SP: Looking for the right time and you're not planning it in the ground and you're not saving your money. You're compels you to do it because you're compelled to. Nothing will stop you. And that is the end of the conversation. So I was just I had to do it. I had to do school I had to do some when you had to they stopped calling experienced coaches you've been doing a lot longer than me. Also. Introduced myself and then had encouraged me to assist them to go into the agency.
SP: And that went good and that went bad
G: That would’ve rocked some boats. So I know a couple still speak poorly of me, And that's really sad because I didn't find any coaching or sort of validating. I was literally getting coached by apparently based purchases prior to a degree. I didn't go through to the agency and I was DAC as on that very confronting for someone who was dealing with their own anxiety risking their own little self-consciousness wanting to please and wanting to wives because at this stage I didn't understand industry business and liability and I confused them all the time but I had to make the rules best for my client you help enough dreams come true or dreams get taken care of? I literally was compelled and have been for all these years - it is about the client. Do not mess with my client? And I say that with more passion today than the day I began.
SP: You do not mess with my client. Never.
SP: And then it goes prospects and then guests and loans don't mess with them.
They feel like everything I just described when I started budgeting possibly more maybe a little less well to them. But there are elements of it. So I couldn't put faith for these to kind of purchase for you because I thought you'd have any more of that in the background of organizing contracts and in the meantime I have another coaching place. I'll just leave it at place try and cut my lunch and contact Flight Centre and say she's not that experienced did she go with us. So I remember just she was fearful finding Cassie. What does this mean? I mean anything and contracts as you go why don't you go for it which is why I said Why do you take good sites and how there are people who can do business with and other people should never do business with. And it is always revealed by what they do on a person. And so that was in those first two years when this really began to grow organically dynamically in a little out of control. That's where I had some of those killings of civilians today and finding them where you assume good faith intention was assume self-consciousness and let's assume some people do not have the best intentions of others and learn how to discern who they are ill and then do things stand the truth to them all the time. That's what came out of my face to use the first two years was about and it took me to a random numbers about a quarter of a mile into my second year some start-ups was that and that is just me coaching one or one doing the things just said.
G: And get phenomenal results
SP: We'll it gets some numbers it's long. You look at some startups they were doing millions but as a solo coach practitioner figuring stuff out knowing where I come from. Yeah I smashed it.
SP: I always look back to that cry knowing those numbers of being excelled by the coaches that knowing what I had to personally overcome. Any justice producing 6 figures are just kidding to really make what's going on.
G: And the key learnings is the philosophy that you brought to that. I can see how that's grown into the philosophy of The Coaching Institute now the ripples aspirational coaches that I love. I remember one of the speeches you gave for us around do not fuck with my clients
SP: Yes. That’s the number one rule, anything that hurts them, harms them, holds them back.
SP: I know the problem, they’re never the problem yet and I just feel at a job now we’re getting ahead of ourselves, just to hold them off and support them until I had to do that for their clients.
G: I think it's part of what our coaches create so much success
SP: isn’t that wonderful.
G: Yeah it's beautiful because you have some people boo because they have a strategy they turn those lessons now to changes in thinking and models. And if you do this in the same way they you know even if they don't have this uplifting themselves yet they could they could do that. We were literally just before we got you from the office and someone was reading at a. So we do this thing where we brag about the shoot so choose the post up there shows it says the community and we would turn down the reader to make everybody stop to brag about their success. And someone shared, she just ran her first workshop, got signed up for another five. She's now teaching at one university. And as she watched a class the other day on how to do how to put up a Facebook ad and she did it, hands shaking and sweat. She just followed the steps. And she's got her first five weeks the front of that and she is so thrilled, and we have stories like that every single day
SP: I’m doing a speech this weekend and I’m taking a brag bell. Did you know that?
G: Oh are you.
SP: Yes. No it's one I don't know the ones so the whole incident was reported.
G: I think someone broke the bell.
SP: From ringing It so much and I’m going to take another bell and do the brag bell in this speech. It's on so focused you can be this open and you can celebrate this openly and not worry about how we look. We're going to do one right there on the stage. Let's celebrate someone.
SP: I didn't have it was the first two years. This grew.
G: Yeah. And for anyone that is thinking I don't have that right now is you wrote an incredible book DISRUPTIVE LEADERSHIP that really maps out such a beautifully pathway with how to go about creating this culture when the clients of and bring everybody around making them making them that or making each for agriculture or people are fighting for their clients.
SP: That book destructive leadership opens on these horrible stories.
G: Yes. I remember.
SP: I love that story just that book have that idea of disruptive leadership and the critical one and we should do that in another podcast.
SP: Because of that moment and that experience in the company. I'm just sharing you're going to get across this you're going to get across why this bad stuff happened how to build a robust enough culture that doesn't have a beat up or we're getting back to the first two years.
G: Yeah. And so having known having that beginning and taking those steps and son to work out you're not surfing inside is how those issues come along. What was the what was the biggest challenges that you?
SP: Everything. So I will make myself a child of success made easy or that I swung more that it's anything but the graft of overcoming personal limits. I am just not the person who's all wide I am wanting to celebrate it. Oh my gosh she's been amazing let me know. I don't know. And then when people come as you say you used amazing I just love you. Hang On. Let's just go through some flaws.
SP: These kids are still going to be here and right. So truly I am the person who has one tough tested and then a couple things are ending that I have a very wise man and give your answer my coaching ability and my trying to build? I know that they're very great strengths to me and I don't really have to tap into much of me to bring them to the fore in those first two or three years. Get him to the first million everything was the graft of what is the way this works? Then I can cooperate in terms of my own insecurities. What's the way to do this the rocks that are really rocks their world. And if there's any ever any tension between the two. What are you going to do? I use it is a thing. I remember one of our very first trainings that I ran a lady beautiful student hostage dynamics series. I don't know what she's doing now. She had been frigid for 15 years. She wanted it solved in a room in front of 20 people.
SP: you talk like getting over self-consciousness. Do you remember Joe? Were you in there?
SP: No. I literally had another say what I did. But I had to bring all of me. She wanted this all. Then in front of twenty something people at a training event. And is there a reason why self-conscious so there was a major breakthrough.